Steven Wright citations (178 citations, Page 3)

Steven Wright: 178 citations0 J'aime

Steven Wright: Citations en anglais

“When I was a kid we had a sandbox. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.”

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Steven Wright

“A metaphor is like a simile.”

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Steven Wright

“I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time.”

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Steven Wright

“When an evil masochist dies, does he go to hell, or would heaven be a better punishment?”

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Steven Wright

“What is the speed of dark?”

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Steven Wright

“Why are they called buildings when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?”

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Steven Wright

“I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.”

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Steven Wright

“If warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell.”

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Steven Wright

“If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?”

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Steven Wright

“Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates… When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?”

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Steven Wright

“Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?”

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Steven Wright

“I’m so tired… I was up all night trying to round off infinity.”

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Steven Wright

“Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?”

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Steven Wright

“I can levitate birds. No one cares.”

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Steven Wright

“Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.”

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Steven Wright

I Have A Pony (1985)

“I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you’re not using?”

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Steven Wright

“Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff?”

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Steven Wright

“All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.”

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Steven Wright

“You can't have everything… where would you put it?”

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Steven Wright

“Sometimes I talk to myself fluently in languages I'm unfamiliar with… just to screw with my subconscious.”

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Steven Wright

When the Leaves Blow Away (2006), I Still Have a Pony (2007)

“I hate it when my leg falls asleep. I know that means it's going to be up all night.”

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Steven Wright

“Sorry… my mind was wandering… one time it went all the way to Venus and ordered a meal I couldn’t pay for.”

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Steven Wright

“In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Madagascar. She said”

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Steven Wright

“How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?”

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Steven Wright

“You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time…”

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Steven Wright

“If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?”

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Steven Wright

“Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?”

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Steven Wright

“I heard that in relativity theory, space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings.”

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Steven Wright

“I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.”

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Steven Wright

“I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add.”

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Steven Wright

Steven Wright Special (1985)

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